A blogger steals someone else's life story and calls it her own.
How William Orr's quest for better, cheaper gas became a crime.
The family of a dead judge blames a creeping fungus in the federal courthouse.
I worked at Kmart with John McCain's director of strategy.
OUTLOOK: So basically it's like Signs, but without aliens, and probably a less happy ending? Could be the first French film parents can take their teenage boys to.
Two BrothersDIRECTOR: Jean-Jacques Annaud
WRITERS: Jean-Jacques Annaud, Alain Godard
PREMISE: Two tigers are separated at birth -- one is sold to a circus and loses his spirit, while the other is raised as a fighter for sport. They meet again as adults, when they are forcibly pitted against each other.
OUTLOOK: Everybody loves tigers; just look at how many people have tattoos of them. Not everyone loves Guy Pearce, but probably enough to help the movie do OK. Annaud's always had more success with animals than people anyway.
White Chicks
STARRING: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Brittany Daniel, James King
DIRECTOR: Keenen Ivory Wayans
WRITERS: Assorted Wayanses and friends
PREMISE: African-American FBI officers go undercover as, essentially, the Hilton sisters.
OUTLOOK: Since blondes and black men absolutely never fraternize in American society, this movie should build the vital bridges of tolerance and understanding. Ha. Whatever. At least someone's finally making a joke out of that damned annoying Vanessa Carlton song.
JULY
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
STARRING: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd
DIRECTOR: Adam McKay
WRITERS: Will Ferrell, Adam McKay
PREMISE: Will Ferrell mugs a lot as a sexist San Diego newscaster in 1973.
OUTLOOK: The trailer suggests easy summer retro laughs with no surprises whatsoever.
Before Sunset
STARRING: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy
DIRECTOR: Richard Linklater
WRITERS: Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke
PREMISE: The romantic Yank and Frog from the 1995 film Before Sunrise reunite nine years later.
OUTLOOK: From Slacker to School of Rock, Linklater throws his heart into his work. This quickie sequel (shot in fifteen days) may deliver the same offhand charm and believable characters as its predecessor. This time Hawke pretends that he's an author -- an obvious case of art reflecting life.
The Bourne Supremacy
STARRING: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Joan Allen, Brian Cox
DIRECTOR: Paul Greengrass
WRITERS: Tony Gilroy, Brian Helgeland, novelist Robert Ludlum
PREMISE: This time Jason Bourne (or whatever his name is) must clear his name following brutal assassinations.
OUTLOOK: The first one proved a pleasant surprise, and this sequel promises lots of dark intrigue all over Germany, Russia and India. In particular, the work of Greengrass holds appeal, as his documentary-style Northern Ireland riot reenactment Bloody Sunday was truly stunning. Production here was apparently rushed, but whatever its flaws, at least it don't feature no Affleck.
Catwoman
STARRING: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt and that French dude from the Matrix sequels
DIRECTOR: Pitof (one word, like Madonna. He's a former effects guy for Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro)
WRITERS: John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris (Terminator 3)
PREMISE: Jettisoning the Batman connection altogether, Halle Berry dons a Mouseketeer-meets-Matrix stripper outfit as Patience Philips, a graphic designer who gains some kind of super cat-powers.
OUTLOOK: Had this film come out in 1993, starred Michelle Pfeiffer, and been directed by Tim Burton, we'd be talking mega-hit. As is, Halle's costume looks stupid (can't wait for the inevitable drag-queen version, though), the trailer's lame (she likes sushi!), and Mattel recently canceled plans for a Barbie tie-in. Expect Gigli comparisons before the year is out, as well as endless puns like "Cat-astrophe." Sadly, this will probably cancel out any chance of the real Catwoman character appearing in the new Christian Bale Batman franchise.
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
STARRING: John Cho, Kal Penn
DIRECTOR: Danny Leiner (Dude, Where's My Car?)
WRITERS: John Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
PREMISE: Stoner Indian student and stoner Korean student quest for burgers.
OUTLOOK: Sometimes the title says enough.
I, Robot
STARRING: Will Smith and some robots
DIRECTOR: Alex Proyas
WRITERS: Jeff Vintar (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within), Akiva Goldsman (Lost in Space)
PREMISE: Smith plays a detective investigating a crime that may be the first-ever murder of a human by a robot. Because, y'know, according to Isaac Asimov's three laws of robotics, the metal guys aren't supposed to do that.
OUTLOOK: Apparently the screenplay bears very little resemblance to Asimov's book, and the teaser trailer has been laughed at by fanboy types online, mostly because the CG robots aren't very convincing. But there's hope: First of all, the CG is far from finished at this stage. And second, while not all of Proyas's films have been hits (Dark City and Garage Days failed to make Crow-level dough), they're always interesting to look at.
King Arthur
STARRING: Clive Owen, Keira Knightley, Ioan Gruffudd, Stellan Skarsgård
DIRECTOR: Antoine Fuqua
WRITERS: David Franzoni (Gladiator), John Lee Hancock (The Alamo)
PREMISE: Supposed to be a more historically accurate, fantasy-free look at the legendary king of England, though Keira Knightley's tribal-tattooed warrior Guinevere looks more like a contemporary fantasy than anything else.