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  • Broward-Palm Beach New Times

    The Lost Season

    Here's how you become one of those people who screams at his kid's coach.

    By Bob Norman

  • SF Weekly

    Border Crossers

    Transgender hookers with rap sheets are successfully fighting deportation--by asking for asylum.

    By Lauren Smiley

  • Houston Press

    Deadly Evidence

    First, Houston's DNA lab became a laughingstock. Then its controversial director was murdered.

    By Randall Patterson

Knights in White Satin

Continued from page 1

Published on August 24, 2005

Li'l Bitchez: The cutest, cuddliest haters on the planet! These plush Ja Rule, Fat Joe, Jadakiss and Nas dolls won't slap back when you drop a dis on them. Fully washable.

Wanksta, The Musical: When Andrew Lloyd Webber and Fiddy team up, you know there's music in the air. Set for Broadway this fall, Wanksta will feature Wayne Brady, Lisa Bonet and Bernadette Peters singing their way through songs like "Ghetto Quran," "I'm a Hustler" and "Fuck You."

In Da Club Hand Disinfectant: You can party like it's your birthday, but keep in mind that clubs are fiestas for germs as well. Just a couple of squirts of In Da Club, and you can pass the bottle of bub with no fear.

Da Piggybank: Teach your child about the cruel world of record deals with this piggy bank, which keeps 90 percent of their money for itself. Each deposit is greeted with a pre-recorded "Get me that money!" from 50 himself.

P.I.M.P. Car Fresheners: Available in Pine, New Car and Gunsmoke.

50 Cent Magic Stick: This oversize home massage kit will work the kinks out of your back in no time. That's what we think it is, anyway. -- Jordan Harper

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