Question: What makes for truly fantastic bar food? Answer: A good deep fryer. By that measure, the fryer at Michael's Bar & Grill must be gold plated, a filligreed affair replete with ivory inlays, encrusted with precious gems and signed by its creator. Because this "fryer" — if indeed we can still call it that — produces delicacies of such golden-hued perfection, structurally sound morsels whose insides are lusciously moist and bursting with flavor, that anything shy of a Liberace-inspired vessel would be an insult to the artistry it produces. Take Michael's T-ravs. These little pillows of seasoned beef have the most perfectly crisp shells. You know the type: They offer a hint of resistance so that when your tongue breaks through you acknowledge all the more the preciousness contained within. Michael's fried mushrooms? They'd make Frodo forget all about that stupid ring. Their calamari? Lightly dusted. Tender on the tongue. These things are marvelous. The wings? Perfectly seasoned, slightly crisp, and ready to rumble with any south-county wing brave enough to step in the ring. (But be ready, the pub fare at Michael's will be ferried to the match in a sweet ride.)