Eating a turkey burger is often like choosing to wear sensible pumps instead of high-heeled stilettos: You know it's practical and good for you, but it's just not quite as much fun. Leave it to the Schlafly Bottleworks to make its Green Chili Turkeyburger as sassy and flavorful as a pair of hot-pink Manolos. The sandwich arrives open-faced, utilizing a big, fluffy wheat bun as its base. A heaping helping of creamy homemade guacamole and generous spoonfuls of vegetarian chili add color and spice, making old standbys like ketchup and mustard obsolete. Then there's the burger itself, eight ounces of juicy, tender poultry cooked to perfection — the menu even warns you to wait patiently for at least twenty minutes, as it's made well-done — and topped with a melted slice of Monterey Jack. If you stick both halves together — and honestly, the dainty may prefer to eat them separately, with silverware — don't be surprised when all the components ooze out the sides: a true, sloppy mark of a satisfying meal. It's priced at $9, and worth every ever-lovin' penny.