Now victorious in their decades-long quest to legalize marijuana, free-the-herb activists will learn that what they've sown isn't bearing what they'd hoped to reap as the legal weed market becomes a playground for investment bankers and venture capitalists rather than drug-rug-sporting hippies. Disillusioned, they'll switch allegiances and throw their support behind a different combustible: cigarettes.
The much-maligned so-called cancer sticks will see a resurgence in the Show-Me State as people remember how fucking cool they make you look and how they provide a free 10-minute break from any scheduled duty that is inaccessible to the non-smokers of the world. Marlboro will see a resurgence in the local market and will resume its Marlboro Miles program here, and Marlboro-branded inflatable canoes will fill the state's rivers come float-trip season. A grassroots effort to criminalize non-smoking bars and restaurants will gain the public's support after Jon Hamm returns to the state of his birth as a spokesman (smokesman?) for the movement in full Don Draper regalia. The motion will pass, and the activists will get bored again, ultimately turning their attention to legalizing cocaine.
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