Our newest senator, former Attorney General Eric Schmitt, is a ticking time bomb. We can already picture now some of the stupid shenanigans that Schmitt will get up to because we've had a taste of it with Senator Josh Hawley.
Based on past experience, Schmitt will likely endorse antisemites like he did when he said Kanye West and Kid Rock should go on a tour together after Kanye West started praising Nazis and Hitler. He will fawn uncritically over Donald Trump like he did when he accepted Trump's "endorsement" when the former president endorsed "Eric" for the U.S. Senate race ahead of the Republican primaries in August. The only issue was that two Erics were running, Eric Schmitt and Eric Greitens. Both happily accepted Trump's ambiguous endorsement. Cringe.
But mostly he's going to be a problem 'cause he's full of bad ideas that are clearly just publicity stunts. He spent a lot of Missouri taxpayer money filing frivolous lawsuits like the time he tried to sue China for COVID-19. He also sued a lot of our schools for making kids wear masks but didn't do anything to try to close Agape Boarding School despite dozens of credible abuse allegations.
So what bad ideas will he bring to congress? Tons. Maybe he'll make it illegal for anyone to wear a mask, even the doctor operating on you. Maybe he'll tell you he's guaranteeing your freedoms by taking away birth control but making it so each man, woman and child gets a gun in the mail every year. (Been accused of domestic assault? You get two! Fuck a red-flag law, amirite?) We're not entirely sure, but these ideas are going to be some doozies that will cause the rest of the country to ask, "Who is this guy? Missouri, are you, OK?" No. No, we're not.
Welcome to Bold Predictions for 2023, an effort to forecast what the future holds for the St. Louis region.
Coming soon: Riverfront Times Daily newsletter. We’ll send you a handful of interesting St. Louis stories every morning. Subscribe now to not miss a thing.
Follow us: Google News | NewsBreak | Reddit | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
