Cry Me A River: Justin Timberlake pleads guilty to drunk driving charge

How do people with private jet money make “Ubers are expensive” mistakes?

Sep 15, 2024 at 5:17 pm

It’s not the kind of stage he’s used to, but Justin Timberlake appeared in court on September 13th for his plea hearing. What plea hearing?

The one where he admitted that he was indeed busted for driving while intoxicated just after midnight on June 18th. The singer’s been sentenced to community service, a $500 fine, and a 90-day suspension of his driver’s license in the State of New York.

If you’re saying to yourself “Those consequences aren’t really consequences,” then you’re in good company. Justice Carl Irace agrees with you, which makes one wonder why he was so lenient in the first place, but that is neither here nor there.

Here’s the relevant details to keep in mind: Timberlake was arrested on June 18th in Sag Harbor New York after running a stop sign and veering out of his lane. When he got out of his BMW, he reeked of alcohol. He then failed the field sobriety test, and refused to comply with a breathalyzer.

Ok, that was the night of. Obviously, not a great look for an aging superstar who is well-known amongst the junior crowd for his repeat performance as Branch, the cantankerous but lovable little dude in the Trolls franchise.

Now, let’s move on to the aftermath. In August, Timberlake had his court appearance. Given the seriousness of the matter— hi, up to a year in prison was on the table for this particular bit of drunken disorderliness— one would think that he’d do the smart thing and own up to his misstep.

Nah. He plead not guilty.

Is Timberlake aware of his current reputation in the media? Sure, he’s got Trolls going for him, but after a certain ex-girlfriend of his disclosed some rather reprehensible details of his behavior during their time together as a couple… Justin. My guy. Your reputation is in need of a serious check up.

Moving right along.

Something seems to have clicked. Maybe the brain cells left in his noggin that haven’t been damaged by alcohol finally worked together long enough for him to knock it off and listen to his legal team, maybe he decided that prison orange isn’t his color. Whatever the reason, he not only made a plea deal.

Oh no.

He delivered quite the PSA from the courthouse. “I found myself in a position where I could have made a different decision, but I’ve had some time to reflect on that … What I’d like to say to everyone watching and listening, even if you’ve had one drink, don’t get behind the wheel of a car. There are so many alternatives – call a friend, take an Uber, there are many travel apps, take a taxi. This is a mistake that I made, but I’m hoping that whoever is watching and listening right now can learn from this mistake. I know that I certainly have.”

We’ll bear that in mind, Justin.

In the meantime, the suspension of his New York license could impact his ability to drive in other states, and you know what that means?

This is going to ruin the tour.