click to enlarge flickr.com/photos/portroids
Jon Hamm, representative Missourian.
Once again, The Daily Beast has figured out a way to
make Missourians feel bad. In honor of the Miss America Pageant, the website has decided to rank the
best-looking states based on
all its residents, not just one representative nubile young woman.
The ranking system factored such unimpeachable criteria as
People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue, the number of Miss USA and Miss America winners and the hometowns of 300 models, plus the health and fitness data from the Trust for America's Health. And Missouri came in...
44th?
click to enlarge United States Army Signal Corps
You mean this is not a beautiful man?
WTF
Daily Beast? Our fitness ranking is 39, not great, but our pageant ranking was a respectable 26. But what really killed us was the deadly
People/model
combo, where we came in at a dismal 43. Hello? Remember Brad Pitt?
Sexiest Man Alive? Twice? And Karlie Kloss? Who, like, totally
dominates
Vogue now? And who
lives here? You mean they are not representative Missourians?
We beg to differ. Just because we don't pimp out our beautiful people doesn't mean we don't have any. Anyway, how do 39, 26 and 43 average out to 44? You
must think that, in addition to being ugly, we're too stupid to do math?
Oh, wait, your winner was Washington, DC? Which is not even a state? OK, we're done taking offense. Clearly you,
Daily Beast, are the stupid one.