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Eric Christensen, also known as "ERIC" in a surprise endorsement from former President Donald Trump.
When we last caught up with Eric Christensen, the host and producer of the late, much lamented sketch comedy show STL Up Late was mocking Eric Greitens for a campaign ad featuring a very big explosion. (Feels like just yesterday, but turns out that was back in 2016 when Greitens was still allegedly tying up hairdressers and not yet the state's disgraced former governor.) In any case, we were as surprised as anyone when former President Donald Trump endorsed the St. Louis funnyman for U.S. Senator — gotta admit, did not see that one coming!
Fortunately, the endorsement doesn't appear to have gone to Christensen's head, as he kindly squeezed in time for a few questions even in the midst of a vigorous one-day campaign. Let's just say this ERIC is in it to win it.
RFT: You won Trump's endorsement! How does it feel?
I gotta say, as THE Eric, I never thought I would see this day come. On the other hand, being a white male who was born in the south, I should have seen this day coming.
RFT: What would you say to the other Erics claiming this mantle?
Well Eric Bana really has had no claim over anything since the 2003 Hulk. And that just leaves Eric Clapton as the only other Eric worth a damn, but when was the last time that guy put out a hit? Get it together Erics!
RFT: What are your key policy positions, particularly as they apply to bringing legal recourse against China for COVID and to shooting Mitch McConnell in the face?
I am for gun control, so I would probably lobby for McConnell to be thrown from a moving train. I am very against big government trying to take our rights away to throw people from moving trains.
RFT: Who would win in a race, Donald J. Trump or a cheetah?
The cheetah but only because Georgia's Secretary of State was keeping time.
RFT: Do you think Trump even remembers he has a son named Eric or no?
He probably doesn't remember the name but he probably does remember he has a son who looks like an even paler Zach Woods.
RFT: What did you have to do to secure this endorsement?
I told Trump that I KNOW how to bring the light into the body.
RFT: How would you work with that guy Hawley?
I think just talk to him like a human, connect with him, share in his hobbies and passions, like fishing and running from insurrectionists
RFT: Why are you a better choice than the other Erics?
I can do that thing where, like, I flip my eyelids inside out. It gets a lot of reaction at bars. Like to see Greitens try to do that.
RFT: If you don't win tonight, who will you endorse to represent Missouri in the Senate?
Eric Andre is the third Eric running, right?
RFT: If you do win tonight, what's your plan to beat the Democrats in the general?
I have a campaign ad I'm working on in which I hold a surface-to-air missile launcher and say, "I'm Eric and I plan to cruise to victory by seeking out my opponents and destroying them and their families!" It's probably the tamest of the Republican ads for the upcoming cycle.
