This gross old guy from TV was found liable for assaulting E. Jean Carroll at Bergdorf Goodman.
MONDAY, MAY 8 It’s barely May and already muggy. Any St. Louisan knows that summer weather means bloodshed, and sure enough, the last 72 hours saw a spree of killing. From Friday through today, 11 people were shot in the city and five killed. The Post-Dispatch reports that between 2018 and 2022, about 42 percent of city homicides went down between May and August. Brace yourself!
TUESDAY, MAY 9 It’s cooler today — does that mean we can stop killing each other? And while CITY SC loses 2-1 in the U.S. Open, high school phenom Miguel Perez scores his first goal! Meanwhile, a jury finds that gross old guy on TV liable for sexually assaulting columnist E. Jean Carroll at a Bergdorf Goodman fitting room in 1996. Apparently you can’t just grab ‘em by the pussy.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10 Far from being chastened, the old guy shows up to a CNN Town Hall packed with fans and spews more nasty crap about Carroll. (Seriously, CNN, since when did town halls come to mean “a rowdy room of one’s supporters''?) Carroll says she might sue again and why not? Back home, the Missouri legislature passes anti-trans legislation, while Governor Mike Parson says anyone can apply for Kim Gardner’s soon-to-be-vacant job through a convenient web portal. He’s looking for someone with strong managerial experience and a commitment to the “written rule of law,” which surely rules out both the Loop trolley and Mark McCloskey. Small blessings.
THURSDAY, MAY 11 The Missouri Legislature votes to ban texting while driving, which would leave Montana the only state to let adult drivers text and drive. The bill now goes to Governor Parson, and while this will surely be yet another statute no one enforces in this lawless state, we’ll take it.
FRIDAY, MAY 12 Under state law, the legislature must adjourn today — and adjourn it does, limping across the finish line as a series of filibusters yammer on. Writes the Missouri Independent, “Over the last 30 years, only the COVID-shortened 2020 legislative session saw lawmakers adjourn with fewer bills heading to the governor’s desk.” Talk about good news for Missouri. Among the bills that didn’t make it: state Senator Nick Schroer’s (R-St. Charles) attempt to strip city control of the St. Louis police. The Senate also failed to approve a bill to make it harder for citizens to amend the Missouri Constitution — yep, the GOP wanted to put a halt to the same process that gave us Medicaid expansion and cannabis on demand. Thank God our local Republicans don’t get along with each other any better than they do with the rest of us. We love gridlock.
SATURDAY, MAY 13 Afternoon thunderstorms provide respite from muggy temps — although City SC loses again, this time in Chicago. “Something is missing,” team captain Roman Bürki says. We’re no soccer experts, but we’d say goals are missing. Score a few more, please!
SUNDAY, MAY 14 It’s Mother’s Day, and the restaurants are packed. Also, people are fighting in the downtown streets, undoubtedly over whose mom is the greatest. We’ll settle this one for you, kids: It’s our mom. Our mom is the greatest.
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