Why Bernie Miklasz Can’t Get Picked at St. Louis Jury Duty

Who cares if it’s increasingly difficult to get premium Cardinals coverage in the Post-Dispatch? We’ve still got Seeing Red, the great Redbirds baseball podcast hosted by former P-D columnist Bernie Miklasz and Deadspin co-founder Will Leitch.

Each week, they break down the Cards’ performances, with Miklasz playing the role of the lovable grump, and Leitch wearing his Cards fandom proudly.

Leitch — a Mattoon, Illinois, native — currently lives in Georgia, while Miklasz remains a proud citizen of greater St. Louis. Even if, as he explained on this week’s Seeing Red, he’s not able to serve his region as he’d prefer.

See, he just can’t seem to make the cut for jury duty.

“The last three times I’ve gone down there to serve,” he said, “either the judge, one of the attorneys, or both, recognizes me, and identifies me by name in court.”

Earlier this month he was called, yet again, and thought things could be different. “It’s a really big case with potential awards in the tens of millions of dollars,” he said. But during jury selection, the defense attorney caught his eye while speaking to the judge.

“Just as your honor says that he was going to throw a curveball in the proceedings,” the attorney said, “with Mr. Miklasz’s permission, I’d like to throw a change-up right here.”

Uh oh, a sports analogy. Miklasz quickly realized his civic duty would once again go unfulfilled. “The plaintiff’s attorney’s looking like, ‘Oh, he knows the defense attorney, well we’ve gotta scratch him.’”

And then, if that weren’t enough, the judge recognized Miklasz too. “He’s talking about the Blues game the night before, where they scored seven in the second period, and he’s looking at me,” Miklasz said.

“I’m like, ‘Ok, I’m here to be a juror. I’m here to do my part. We can talk sports, but let’s go get a beer after this is over!’”

To Leitch, it was clear that Miklasz’s reputation as a beloved local sports commentator would follow him forever.

“I’m sure Springsteen has never got on an Asbury Park jury, and Elvis never made it on a Memphis jury,” Leitch said, concluding: “Bernie Miklasz is never going to make it on a St. Louis jury.”

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