As 2024 is getting started, there is a renewed sense of anticipation, and it's exciting to think about the year ahead reviewing weed for you, dear reader. It makes sense to start with a company that has evaded my review radar, unintentionally, so it's a great time to kick off the new Gregorian calendar with a visit to the big blue machine: Cookies.
Co-founded by Bay Area rapper Berner, the Cookies brand has been at the forefront of bringing the plant mainstream. Now worth more than a billion dollars, the brand operates like a well-oiled engine, pushing out a variety of flower cultivars and merchandise packaged in its trademark blue hue. When Missouri got medical, Cookies partnered up with 3Fifteen Primo Cannabis to have its goods sold out of the dispensary's former storefront in Florissant.
I'd visited a Cookies location in Las Vegas and the Missouri Cookies store when it was medical only. With recreational now going strong, I was excited to check out some classic Cookies strains and see what merchandise was around.
My optimism started to ebb drastically when I looked at Cookies' online store. It didn't appear to stock as robust of a flower selection compared to my last visit, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But I didn't see some of the stalwarts of the Cookies genetic lineup, such as Gary Payton. "Maybe there is some new stuff the brand is excited about, so they're rotating out the older cultivars," I thought.
With that in mind, I scrolled through the options online and settled on an eighth of its namesake strain, Cookies, and a preroll of something new to me: Red Light, a nod to Amsterdam's infamous district. Part of my decision making, I hate to admit, was based around THC percentage. I noticed a lot of the Cookies flower seemed to be lower in THC than what other local dispensaries offer. This isn't an issue if the flower is smoked close to the harvest and cure time, but it's hard to say with Missouri's regulations how old the flower is.
I placed an order online and traversed north to my designated pickup window. The Cookies store feels like a compound since it's surrounded by a wire fence, but it has a good location that's easily accessible off I-270. I passed my ID and medical card through the drive-through window, and less than five minutes later, I was on my way. For the eighth of flower and preroll, I paid $67.04, and I didn't incur the rec tax on the bill.
A throwback taste to its origins, the Cookies strain is made up of OG Kush x Durban Poison x Cherry Kush. When I opened the bag, I got a whiff of that nostalgic "cookies" aroma, which sent me back to the early 2010s, minus the ziploc bag. It's not something I have smelled a lot recently, with my strong preference for Z and candy terps. It even has a different scent than the Gas and OG strains — more of a savory mouthfeel with an herbal twinge. I broke down the flower to roll a joint, and the smoke didn't have quite the same terpene punch that it did on the nose.
The effects post-joint were mild. I came back inside and tried to give the weed time to ramp up. It did not. As I continued to watch YouTube videos, the thought of "should I smoke another one?" kept creeping into my head. "No, I'll just ride this one out," I thought to myself. Moments later, I was hovering over my rolling tray preparing a second joint. But the second joint did not alleviate my concerns that I needed another joint. Before I opted into a third, I called it a night.
Maybe I caught the flower on a bad day or something, so I decided to try the Red Light one-gram preroll. The Amsterdam-inspired strain consists of Cookies & Cream crossed with Secret Weapon. I wasn't expecting a lot based on my previous session. I got a whiff of a faint berry scent on the nose, which translated mildly to the smoke as the preroll burned down. A nice oil ring formed as I made my way down the joint, and the preroll had a faint white ash. The Red Light hit me with a mild mind high and a medium body high. There was no internal debate to smoke another joint shortly thereafter, so I chalked Red Light up as a win.
I circled back to the bag of Cookies flower, which made two more additional joints. The first one I smoked while walking my dog and the second one after a long day of work. Similar to my first experience, the dog-walking joint never fully took off. The final one was better: I was able to chill on the couch after work but also still get up to do some other things.
For me, Cookies' effects weren't helpful and didn't alleviate my aches and pains, and the flat cerebral effects didn't make it more interesting. If I had to recommend the Cookies flower, it would be for when your uncle who used to smoke in high school comes to town. While he's zooted on the Cookies, you can smoke the Red Light or some headstash.
